It took me an entire day to put things in perspective. I couldn’t think about anything else while in office. I haven’t felt like that since, 3 year ago in army? The whole short hair girl episode. Man that was hilarious. I hope it doesn’t repeat itself again. YES my dear?
After work I had a nice tuna sandwich from Quiznos, some tea, then sat at this wide open bench at CSC. I don’t remember how long it was, but i didn’t finish the tea. I sat there under the night sky, feeling strangely motivated. I thought to myself, not make any more silly mistakes.
After the past year, with the whole company episode, countless books and really stupid expensive mistakes, I know very clearly, that every decision and action we do shape how our lives are today. There can be no blaming, no faulting of others but ourselves. I’ve taken full responsibility for how my life is today.
With responsibility comes the realization that you have the power to change things. You realize you are no longer bound by circumstances, by bosses, friends, family. With this in mind I’ve set 1 major goal for myself; with a 6 month time-line and a $6000 budget. To achieve this major one, 3 supporting goals were set, each with their own mini goals.
After some time going through these on that bench, I felt a strange sense of ‘being on track’. It feels like every part of me nodded in agreement. Everything I do from this point should be aligned and overlapping in nature, building towards the realization of the major goal.
Fear strikes me at this point, what if it doesn’t work? What if it was all just a waste of time? I stopped on the 2nd ‘what if’ and just went, no matter what happens after 6 months, whatever I do and plan within the next couple of months will change the rest of my life, regardless of whether or not I achieved my goal. There’s practically nothing to lose when growth is involved.
With everything in place, I’ve never felt happier or more motivated since Army. I used to have little worries and anxieties, but nothing really bothers me now. I feel so aligned, it’s just amazing.
